The Mickey Clan

Saturday, January 29, 2011

One last note

So two days ago I posted about our dog Rosie, her most recent vet visit, and us hoping for the best with dealing with her cancer. I really had a good outlook on things and was positive about going fourth with her surgery in a week.

Then Thursday night happened. Just after dinner I noticed Rosie having some sort of "reaction" that is very hard to explain. The details aren't important, they are actually kinda heart breaking so I will spare you. What's important is by 3-4am I knew that she and I hadn't slept at all, that we wouldn't, and that she probably wouldn't make it through the following day. I had already planned on calling the vet as soon as I got back from my doctor's appt. in the morning. My plans changed by 7:45am. I was already on the phone with the vet's office desperate to come in...I knew her time was up. It wasn't a pretty sight and again, I'll spare the details. My baby needed to go home with God and Jeremy and I knew it.

It was quick once we arrived to the office. Jeremy and I cried like anyone could expect...like babies. I held her head in my arms while she laid on the table and softly took her last breath. Jeremy and I kissed her and I then buried my nose deep into her neck and took in one last breath of her smell. We made the necessary arrangements with the vet and then left. Jeremy and I held each other close for awhile.  That is no doubt in this world that she was a HUGE part of both him and me. She was there from the beginning.

I'm still dealing with alot of mixed emotions. Of course knowing how quickly the cancer took over (literally, a week) and knowing that she's not suffering is comforting.  But I'm so mad that she had to go that way.  Anyone who has had an animal die of cancer would know. It's awful. It's like it just set out to absolutely reek havoc on Rosie's body and it succeeded. It just doesn't seem fair. I know that everyone thinks that they have the most precious and best dog and so do Jeremy and I. Rosie was absolutely wonderful! I just don't think she deserved to die so young and in that fashion. I'm pissed off actually! I know there's nothing I can do other than be thankful for her time with us and knowing she didn't suffer long, but it still isn't fair. Life isn't fair, I know.

So that's my start to my weekend. Friday has come and gone. I've been down, angry and then sad again.  Friday night was almost as hard as Friday morning. The sun set, the kids went to bed and then Jeremy and I were faced going to bed without our pup in between us.  We can't kiss her goodnight, watch her prance around the end of the bed to find her most perfect and comfy spot and then listen to her give her big huff of what we guess is both satisfaction and for some reason irritation...lol From that point Jeremy, of course could get comfortable and I would too...around Rosie, she always slept on my side of the bed.

It feels good to be able to write about this. But there is another part of me that needs some time away from the computer. I've been doing a post and/or a picture everyday now all this month. It was something that I was challenged to do for an entire year. Seemed like fun.  But now I need a break. It really has nothing to do with Rosie. I've just come to realize that maybe I'll have better things to post if I give a few day rest from time to time. And face it, for the next few days all I'll really have this weekend is Rosie stories. Not that it's a bad thing, but some of those memories need to be just mine, not the whole worlds. Everyone has a story and it should be shared, but only if they it to. I need time to grieve and process this huge change in my life.

I want to say Thank you to all that have showed a great deal of support. Thank you Cole, Shay, Tammy, Crystal, Faith, and Shannon. Thank you for the comments, the phone calls, the texts. I hope everyone has a great weekend and I will be back to blog in Feb.

Friday, January 28, 2011

She took her leave

Rosemary Marie Mickey "Rosie"

March 22, 2003-January 28, 2011

Thursday, January 27, 2011

My Girl

So here she is, the lovely Rosie. I took her off Shay's hands when she decided that right after bringing the puppy to her house, it wasn't good idea. Shay was too smitten to think it through, she didn't have the space or the time (at that particular moment in her life) to own a puppy. It wasn't fair though. Shay said that there was a couple standing in front of Food Lion just giving these puppies away and she Fell. In. Love when she saw Rosie (not yet name yet) So Shay calls me and in her most pathetic voice begs me to take the puppy off her hands. I have to admit, I was reluctant at first. Well truthfully, I didn't want the dog. I hadn't met her yet and I was sure that she was every bit as cute as she sounded to be, but what I wanted was a chocolate lab that the very soon to be hubby had already promised. At the end of the month, we'd be married and settled into our new house and then, we'd get a lab. But, when I laid eyes on Rosie for the first time later that very same day Shay begged me to take her home with me, I really just couldn't resist. She was just as cute and adorable as Shay bragged she was. I fell in love with her just as quickly as I think Shay did.

Jeremy followed suit. Although he almost choked when I walked in the door with her, it took approx. 5 mins and he wouldn't let me hold again for the rest of the night. Shay and I had already named her back at her house. I like to named my animals after food...I know, it may sound a little weird but whatever.
We debated and through out a bunch a ideas when finally one of us said "how about the herb, Rosemary?" Yeah, I think I could like that. Rosemary Marie Mickey...Rosie.

I give the back story because last weekend she had to go into the vet's office...again. It ain't good kids. My baby has a tumor in her right hind leg most likely wrapped around her sciatic nerve. It also appears to be malignant. It was a long and agonizing weekend for Jeremy and I while we discussed what step to take next. She's not even 8 yrs old yet! How could I let her go? I know that sounds selfish and it is, but bare in mind that as of right now her quality of life is still pretty good. But it will only get worse if we do nothing. Thus, we have decided to operate. Our risks are great but the reward is worth it. Rosie could just as easily wake up, feel great, use her leg again, and live a while longer. I don't know how much longer, most likely the cancer will appear again. BUT, we'll be ready to let her go if and when it does. I would never make my dog suffer just because I'm emtionaly attached.

She's my first baby and still I think of her as a puppy. She enjoys walks on the beach, meaty dog treats, belly rubs, sleeping in between Jeremy and I, and loves to travel. I'm just not ready to say good bye without a fight. So next Thursday, she goes in for surgery. I could lose her that very day or I could keep her, making her happy and healthy for a while longer. I kiss her everyday and tell her just so she doesn't forget how much I appreciate being her "mommy". She's wonderful! I love her and everyone around her loves her. I'm praying for the best and I'm going to keep thinking positively. So here's to great dogs that have made our lives happier in countless ways. Here's to my Rosie and many more walks around the park and on the beach!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 26

This picture was actually taken last year during our "blizzard" here in PA. Although we don't quite have 2-3 ft of snow yet this year, it's been snowing all day and we have a nice build up of about 4 in. It's all the same to me...pretty, but please go away! It won't, (not soon anyway) but when spring finally has sprung you won't find a happier girl than the one behind the keys of this computer. The fires in the fireplace are always cozy and honesty I love that we have a reason to burn one almost everyday. Jeremy driving me and the kids around to do that thing men always do "wanna see how the roads are", is fun. The snow does make for some really pretty pictures and watching the kids play outside (from inside, thank you very much) is priceless. And I do love my snow boots that I bought last year, very stylish! But I cant wait for some slightly warmer temps and reason to be outside more. Thank you winter for camping out for the last 2 months and possibly through next month but farewell, so long, I can indeed wait another year. It's been real, and it's been fun, but it hasn't been that fun. Maybe when I can take real advantage of the snow and go skiing I'll appreciate you more. Until then, PEACE OUT!