Back in the Saddle

Well maybe not quite, but I am pretty busy so it feels like I'm in the drivers seat of something.  Even it's the bus headed towards crazy! 

  Jax is 5 weeks old and growing, growing...growing!  I cant wait to go home so all my family and friends can meet him!!  The biggest change in my life has been so more than bringing home baby and juggling all 4 children and then trying to find some time in the day for a shower.  I mean honestly if I get to bathe, good for me..hahaha.  And while I'm thinking about it, I'm very pleased with the our schedule.  Sure eating is pretty difficult (for me) Jax always seems to be hungry as soon as I sit down with my plate, but between the hours of 1 and 3pm the house is just as silent as it always had been.  Logan and Brooke are taking their naps, Reese lays down in my room with a few cartoons and usually Jax is sleeping too. It's my favorite part of the day as you can imagine. The hardest part of the day is around dinner time.  Sometimes dinner making alone can be tricky, and eating is definitely a challenge but it's after that I'm lucky if I get the other kids to bed on time.  It's a work in progress.  Jax does a decent job through the night.  Not going to lie, some nights are much better than others.  Usually he sleeps between 11pm until 4ish, sometimes even until 5am.  Other nights he can wake up much earlier then he wants to rock out after feeding.  Not much fun for mommy, but what are ya going to do?!

  The biggest change for me though has been a real lesson in life.  This wasn't the always easiest pregnancy for me to accept.  Even up to my last week of pregnancy I was still having some anxiety about it all.  So I'm still amazed that today I feel so complete.  It's not always easy, it will get easier with time and then there will be times yet to come that are more difficult than others.  But I didn't realize how complete I could feel in this moment of what otherwise is complete chaos.
 
  A cousin of mine recently got married and while going through his pictures of his and his wife's beautiful day together, I came across one with him posing with his sibling's.  My cousin is one of 5 children but in this particular picture his youngest brother was sitting out.  So there stood 4 of my cousins, all siblings, all happy, all healthy, all beautiful!  My eyes filled slightly with tears.  "Those are my kids in 20 or so years" I thought.  There they all stood in great smiles, 2 boys and 2 girls.  When I think about my kids years down the road, it really warms my heart.  Not that they don't already, but thinking about what life is going to be like when all the kids are just a little more grown up just gives me great pleasure.  I'm excited about today, tomorrow and much further down the road.  I'm excited for them especially.  Seeing the Brooker family all grown up and still as close as ever makes me excited that my kids too will always be close and happy.  It's makes nursing a baby while cooking or bathing or helping 3 other children and trying to listen to the message on the answering machine about an upcoming doctors visit and the door bell ringing thanks to guest that came over unexpected totally worth it!

Due today

So it's officially my due date.  But my little man, Jax Cameron is already 5 days old.  He's beautiful and healthy and I could not be happier.  If I'm being honest these last 9 months have been filled with alot of "what are we going to do or how are we going to do this?" but, once I saw my son for the first time the doubts and wonders all vanished with a blink of an eye and I fell in love instantly (as I knew I would) and I no longer question Gods beautiful gift.

 Labor was intense, I guess that's not much of a shocker.  However, out of all 4 labors now that was the hardest to "push" through.  So I called on God in the middle of labor and he got me through.  Truth is before I said a silent prayer and began to focus, I even said out loud "I can't do this".  In the middle of active labor mind you, I told nurses, doctor and even my husband I didn't have it in me.  And I didn't, but the Lord swept right in and took care of us all. 

 The past 5 days have been somewhat of a blurr but I have lots of family seeing to it that I'm never alone for long, and that all the kids needs are taken care of.  I appreciate it all so much!  It's just amazing really, when I think back to where I was just one week ago.  Ladies, no matter how many times it happens, my advise is always, always enjoy every moment of pregnancy (with respect to those that have rather unpleasant ones).  It's over in a instant and although the next chapters to come are just as fun and exciting, being pregnant (in my opinion) is a thing of beauty.  The reality of carrying a child never seizes to amaze me!

So here I am almost a week from my last post.  Totally different look!!

And here is baby Jax at 5 days old

39 weeks

As of yesterday, I'm officially 39 weeks along.  And although I'm smiling in this pic, I'm filled with mixed emotions.  Of course I'm ready but, at the same time I know the baby will be here sooner rather than later and my life will never be the same (for the good) but it will be stressful.  According to "The Bump.com" I'm carrying a watermelon!!  Maybe I should paint my belly with green and white stripes before I go into labor...lol!  I still feel good, although I don't get much sleep at night and that is always annoying by 7am when I have no other choice but to be up, awake, and I'm suppose to be happy...yeah.  So the mornings have been a little tricky lately.  Well, if you have time in your day to send me some labor vibes my way that would be greatly appreciated, although whats another week, right?

A little update

Just a little update...still pregnant.  The latest doctors visit was last Thursday and the outcome was 3cm dilated and still 60% thinned out.  Nothing big really, could still go until my due date.  But today is Saturday and had you asked me a week ago I would have told you "the later in the month, the better.  Only because I want Logan to feel like although he and his sibling share a birthday, I don't won't the birthdays to be on top of each other, like not even in the same week".  Well, I'm singing a different tune.  Logan's birthday was on the 5th of June and as of the 7th I was fully prepared mentally, emotionally and physically to have baby.  But still here we sit.  It's not a terrible thing, it's for the best I know, but momma is ready at any point...I think.  The flip side is knowing that once baby is here, it's here.  And the easiest having 4 beautiful children is ever going to be is right now, pregnant with one!  I'm an emotional wreck.  So on that note, whatever happens, happens.

  Playing with my new iphone.  I know, I'm such a brat!!  But if it makes it sounds any better it's the older one that AT&T  is selling for $50.  Savvy, right?!  Well, that's about all the update I have.  Reese, Logan, and Brooke are all doing well.  We've been playing with our slip n slide this whole week during the heatwave.  We're all just hanging out and wait on baby. 

OMG, so tired of being without internet!!!

Okay, so once again big Dan has no internet.  Is our internet at home down, you ask?  Nope, Jeremy has access.  Is your computer jacked up again?  No, works just fine.  So unfortunately no excuse to buy an ipad.  But for some odd reason our router out of the blue just decided to stop working a week or so ago.  So I apologize again to all my faithful readers.  I'm not being lazy, in fact I've been dying to get on line.  So today I decided to leave the kiddies home with Jeremy while I enjoy a great big chocolate chip cookie and a wild berry smoothie from Panera Bread and use their WI-FI.

 The latest:
  Reese is done with dance class and not a moment too soon.  Although she herself has seemed to enjoy it this year, I have not.  I can't even begin to vent all my frustrations with the class this year, but long story short, there has been one right after another.  To top it all off, the night of the recital (this past Thursday) on our way to the program we almost drove straight into a tornado.  After seeking shelter from the hard hitting hail under a banks drive thru, Jeremy and I decided the safest thing to do was to drive back home, hoping that the recital would have been cancelled anyway due to the weather.  BUTTTT, that would have made too much sense I guess and when I called the following day to ask, my answer was, that the show indeed did go on for all that were able to make it and that the dance studio would get back to me once they had made a final decision on whether or there would be a second one rescheduled.  Nice!  Thank goodness Reese happened to be too scared on Thursday night and was glad to be home safe.  I mean, I'm not glad that she was frightened, but she seemed to understand why we turned around and she was glad to be home.  She is hoping for a reschedule too but she's not asking about it constantly and I think she understands it's probably not going to happen.  At least we could able to make it to the rehearsal the night before and get a couple of pictures.  But at this point even if we get a call back with a rescheduled date, I myself might be in the hospital birthing a child.  Which leads me to the latest of the latest.

 Due Date:
 No, my due date hasn't changed but my last doctors visit consequently also last Thursday, went well.  I was checked by my doctor who said I'm now 2cm dilated and 60% effaced.  The 2cm dilated doesn't get me too excited although, I've never been this dilated this early with any other of my pregnancies.  It's the 60% thinned out already that has me slightly panicked.  I mean I only have 40% more to go and then I could dilate in a snap!  I ain't makin' it to the 20th of June, kids.  I'm just hoping Logan can enjoy his 4th birthday on the 5th!  I know that the baby will come whenever the baby wants to come, but I pray nightly it'll be several days after Lo's b-day. 

The best part:
 My new ride.  Go ahead, laugh, snicker, mock me if you will.  But, I LOVE my new van!!  Oh, I miss the Explorer don't get me wrong but there aint a thing to dislike about my new Town and Country.  We bought it last Monday evening and even Jeremy is happy with it.  So here is a picture that Reese took just this afternoon so it will count for my 37 week preggers pic (which 37 weeks is technically on Monday) 

So that's the latest news and hopefully Jeremy can work on getting me my internet back up.  But if you know him, you won't be holding your breath.  Hope eveyone is planning for a good Memorial Day fun!  As for me, I'm going to try to stay off my feet as much as possible....witch, isn't possible...hahaha

I'm not sure what happened, but when I went to my blog page this afternoon I noticed that my lastest blog on one of my dinners is not only gone from my blog page but also is missing from list of post written.  So a little recap, two night ago I made a mexican inspired dish that I titled "Ball!" because it wasn't a knock out likeI had hoped for, but it's wasn't a complete waste like they have been in the past.  I mean, Jeremy ate it!!

 Last night was somewhat the same.  I tried my hand at Chicken Fried Steak and a Sweet Potato Casserole.  I was really bummed at the kids reaction.  I really thought they would be excited to dig in and do so.  The sweet potatos were cooked with maple syrup and sweet carmelized onions...mmm.  I thought they turned out fabulous and will be making that dish again!  My steaks were a different story.  I ate a little more than one but my kids barely touched it.  The steak wasn't bad, but I'm not very good at frying I guess.  The breading either came off during cooking or it fell right off with cutting.  It really didn't seem worth all the work.  So not sure how often I'll be doing that.  I know, practice makes perfect.  But it takes alot of time for a dish like that, at least for me it did.  We didn't even eat dinner last night until 7pm!!  So we'll see.  Anywho, I did think the plate at the very least it looked good and so here's a pic

Ball

So I tried again tonight for a better dinner.  Tonight I had the help of Shay, thank you dear.  She helped me buy all my ingredients for tonight's Mexican inspired meal and then walked me through the cooking process over the phone.  Since I didn't get to have any guacamole last night and I remained bitter about it, I tried again.  The main course was a chicken stir fry with sauteed peppers and onions served on top of saffron rice.  Mmmm, sounds delicious...and it could have been.  Now, I'm not going to go as far as to say I screwed this dish up like last nights but overall I give myself a C+

 Let's start with the positives. 

1. Jeremy came home early tonight so he got to eat a hot meal and for the most part, he liked it.  He at the very least ate until he was full and didn't feel the need to make a "secret" McDonald's run. 
2. The kids liked it.  Reese really enjoyed it and gave me more credit than I deserved.  She told me I made a really good dinner and that she loved me because I had all the right ingredients.
3. Most everything was eaten.
4. As of yet, nobody has explosive diarrhea.

Here are some of the things about tonight's dinner that should have and could have gone better:

1. Oh for heaven's sake, I undercooked the rice.  It wasn't horribly underdone, put Jeremy and I didn't eat what was on our plates and although the children ate some, we didn't really expect them to.  When I told Shay over the phone that I would buy two packets just in case I messed it up, I didn't really think I would pull such a rookie move!
2. Although the guacamole was better than last nights re-fried beans, it was bland.  I had to add more spices to it after we tasted it at the table and even then, it wasn't quite what my taste buds were looking forward to.  But we did eat it all.
3. Overall, the chicken stir fry could have had more flavor.  I put in both cayenne pepper and cumin but it still was missing the kick.

 So that was tonight attempt to making a good dinner.  Oh!  And I made smoothies for dessert.  But wouldn't you know, they could have been better.  I mean, how hard can it be?!  But, they were on the thick side and it was embarrassing because Jeremy was home this time and these were the first smoothies he had of mine.  Errr!

Tomorrow night.  Chicken Fried Steak with a Sweet Potato Casserole.  We shall see!!!