So, Big Dan strikes in the kitchen again. Okay, for those of you who don't know, I. am. not. a good cook. In fact, to say that I "cook" is a compliment. I try, that's about all I have to offer. So, if you think your skills are bad, please continue reading and I promise to increase you confidence dramatically!
During our first year or so of marriage and before kids I made Jeremy a pan of lasagna. To my surprise, he was impressed and actually enjoyed it. Enjoyed it enough to verbally tell me. For those of you that don't know Jer, he A) Is a chef and B) Doesn't sugar coat the truth for anyone. So when I was given a real compliment from my husband, it really boosted my confidence and I therefore began a list of things I could actually make. The list looked like this: Lasagna.
So a couple of weeks later I decide to make the lasagna again. If I could make it once, surely the second time would be even better, right? I was having fun in the kitchen, singing and dancing with the radio while cooking. All was going really well. I began to layer, sprinkle with cheese and then I popped it into the oven. I stood up, closed the door to the oven and then noticed the entire pan of meat was still in the pan sitting on the stove. Yep, I just successfully cooked ground meat...for a meat-less lasagna. This particular example is really just an icebreaker. I remember this night mainly because I was able to laugh at myself. Jeremy really would have never known if I hadn't told him. I was able to shove the meat in between the layers once I realized I had left it out to begin with. My next cooking tails are ones only I could tell.
Like the time I used chicken broth for the first time. Weeks later, I finally realized what was causing that awful smell from my cabinets...yep, the chicken broth. The way I saw it was, I just put it back where I found it. It never dawned on me that once it was opened it needed to be refrigerated. NE-VER. Even after finding it, I had to make a phone call to Shay just to be sure. I mean, maybe it was just a bad box?
My next adventure, Corn Flake encrusted chicken. The recipe called for Kellogg's corn flakes to be used like a breading. So I used them and it came out super sogging. Poor Jeremy actually tried to choke it down. I think it was because he really couldn't believe that I purposely not crush up the corn flakes. Again, I really thought I was about to embark on another awesome dish that other would be envious of. I just dipped in my egg coated chicken breast straight into a bowl of dry corn flakes and then set it on a pan to bake in the oven. Yes, I was reading the recipe while cooking.
So tonight when I screwed up again, I don't know why I was so surprised. I decided that I wanted tacos for dinner tonight. Then I decided I would add to the menu with homemade guacamole and re fried beans. No big deal, a little research on food network.com and voila, an easy yet tasteful dinner for everyone. Oh but nooooo, not for me. First the guacamole proved to not want to corporate. My first mistake was probably forgetting my cell phone while at the grocery store. Why? Well, upon approaching the avocado in the produce section, I discover two different kinds. "Western" and some other. "Western"? What the heck?! Great no phone, so I can't call Shay and ask literally what direction should I go in. The other avocados were bagged in a bundle of 4 and were much harder than the "Western" ones. So obviously which ones do I choose? Note, I asked which ones I chose? Yep, the harder of the the two, even though I plan on making guacamole in a couple of hours. Needless to say I didn't get very far upon realizing I wasn't getting any dip with my chips. It took me an hour just to spoon out two avocados for goodness sake!
A few hours later I mash up my pintos for re fried beans, served them and they tasted like crap. When talking to Shay later about what happened, she begins to go into detail about next time. "Next time, before you go to fry them....blah, blah,blah". Me: "Wait, did you just say you fried them?" Shay: Laughter, "Yeah, hence re-fried beans" more laughter. Me: "Yeah, I just boiled my beans for a couple of hours and then mashed them up" Shay: Just laughter.
So, I hate to cook! I suck at it and clearly don't understand it. Maybe I just start buying cook books for kids. Maybe then I'd have better luck. I hope this post brought a smile to your face. It was meant to poke fun at myself, mainly because I don't have any expectations of getting any better any time soon. I will keep trying but I think I know myself pretty well. And don't feel too bad for my kids, I can make mac and cheese...sorta :)
No comments:
Post a Comment